The [Not So] Impossible Dream

After not having a break between spring and Maymester, and then working nonstop all month, I am now ready to channel my inspiration and share with you the narrative of the exciting journey on which I have embarked in the last few months.  First I must give some history so that you can fully understand why I am so ecstatic to be where I am today.

For those of you who are unaware of this tidbit, I hate Math.  I tried to make it work but Math and I never clicked; we lacked the chemistry, pun intended.  For some unknown reason, at an early age I developed the misconception that I would have to take a ton of Math classes if I wanted to get a degree in something fun (i.e. History or English).

So that misconception, combined with my dysfunctional relationship with Math, is the reason I decided at a young age that college was not for me.  When I was a kid, I used to assure my Grandmother that I would someday spend my savings on a car because I was so certain that I would never attend college.  So I had created a roadblock.  However, that roadblock did not keep me from the enjoyment of learning other subjects.

I am ashamed to say that prior to the seventh grade I did not care for History very much.  The only thing pertaining to History that I was interested in was a somewhat fictitious diary of Elizabeth Tudor; aside from that, I considered the rest to be uninteresting and irrelevant.

Thankfully though, I was eventually rescued from that narrow mindset.  I became a History nerd after taking seventh and tenth grade History with Mr. Duby.  Mr. Duby completely changed my perspective on History.  I went from thinking it was irrelevant and insignificant to seeing it as the most significant and important of subjects.  Mr. Duby won me over to the realm of the nerds and I have never considered returning to the land of normal people.

While spending my time in the land of the nerds, my interest in Literature and History continued to grow.  In the summer following my high school graduation I found myself retaking my English Lit. quizzes… for the fun of it.  So, obviously, my decision against college was not from lacking a desire to learn, but rather because the Math made it impossible.  Therefore, I made other plans.

It was probably around the same time I broke up with Math and dismissed college that I started entertaining the idea of growing up to be a wife with no particular profession aside from cooking and cleaning.  I cringe upon remembering how narrow my horizon was.  But last spring the sun came out and I my horizon began to change… in a good way.

Most of you, I am sure, are aware of a certain “change of plans” which came up last year; but for those of you who are not familiar with that portion of my story, let me put it this way: I was in a relationship, and then I was not.  This left me in a sticky situation because, of course, I could not go to college, and then suddenly my alternative was also not an option.  However, it was at that time that I was given the advice which led me to where I am today.  Uncle Rob told me that instead of wasting my time I should do what I love to do, which meant traveling and going to school!  So I did precisely that. I traveled to London, Paris, and Versailles, then came home and enrolled at VolState!

Last summer was extremely exciting for me because even with “all of that Math” still in the back of my mind, I was so thrilled to be enrolling in college and going back to school.  See? I am a nerd.

My original plan did not include a degree because I was going to avoid “all” of the “required” Math classes and only take the fun ones.  But that plan also changed.

Whether it was serendipity or a lucky break, I registered for the perfect first class with the right instructor.   Only a week into my second semester with Professor Kelley, I decided that I did not care how much Math would be involved, I was going to work for a degree!  I met with Professor Kelley to discuss declaring my major and come to find out… for an English and History major… there is only ONE Math class involved!  Had I known that, I would have jumped right in after high school!  I could have been almost done with my Associates by now!  Oh the pang at the thought of wasted time!  Though it is very frustrating to think of lost time, I cannot help but be glad for the way everything has worked out.  For had my time line been any different, had I not gotten the right teacher, the right classmates, the right adviser, I may not have stuck with it long enough to reach the point where I wanted a degree.

So that was in January, and since then my excitement has only increased.  However, I do have to admit that when I first made the decision to work for a degree I was a little discouraged upon thinking about how long it would take.  Looking at the next six to eight years seemed like it would be forever.  But thankfully, inspiration has a way of showing up whenever I need it.  A couple weeks after I made this decision it was time for the Olympics.  I was inspired by the stories of the figure skaters, their years of training and dedication; and their desire to get the gold, which motivated them to press forward.  It all inspired me to do the same, to be as determined as an Olympian, and I saw the degree as my gold.

One particular thing from the Olympics which provided quite a bit of inspiration was during Pang and Tong’s free skate.  Going into the free skate they were in fourth place.  For their free skate they skated to The Impossible Dream; and as they were finishing up a nearly perfect performance, Sandra Bezic (the skating analyst) made the comment: “It’s the ‘not so’ impossible dream.”

Something that has made my dream not so impossible is the advice and example of those around me.  When Dr. Pimentel says he believes I can do it, and sounds like he means it, I find it impossible for me to not believe it also.  When he recognized my nerdy enthusiasm for History and English and told me that he thought I should be in the Honors program, that provided all the encouragement and motivation I will need for acquiring my gold medal.

The only problem I face is in finding a way to show appreciation equal to what is deserved.  In the last couple weeks and months I have tried to imagine what I would say if I had the opportunity to give a speech at my graduation.  The possibility of that actually happening is very unlikely; but still, I have wondered what I would say.  Sure I could get up and give heartfelt “thank you’s” and give credit where it is due; but can words express appreciation?  How does an Olympic champion thank his or her trainer?  With a lifetime of “thank you’s”?  I have yet to figure it out.  But one thing I do know is that by the time I graduate with my M.A., I wont be any less grateful than I am today.

I am certain that as I walk up to get my gold medal I will be thinking of Uncle Rob; Professor Kelley, my first college instructor; Professor Eades and Dr. Pimentel, directors of the Honors Program; and my Mom, who is going to help Math and I rebuild our relationship.  In their own ways, each of these people have made my dream “not so” impossible.

Post Script: Since writing the above, I have made a slight adjustment which should be added to this entry.  After taking philosophy classes with Dr. Hutton, I have discovered my deep interest in the field of philosophy and have decided to add it to my major.  In the last year Dr. Hutton has provided a great deal of inspiration for me and has become an important example to whom I look.  To the above entry I felt it necessary to add that Dr. Hutton will most definitely be one of the persons to whom my endless appreciation will be directed, both on the day I reach my goal, and many days after.

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